See Life How It Is Intended To Be: Crystal Tracy

Note: Content contains this individual’s experience with suicide and may be triggering for some.

Crystal used to feel like she didn't have enough resources to come out. This feeling of being alone lead her to her darkest time. She said goodbye to her kids and her husband at the time and tried to end her life. She woke up in Davis Hospital and had a realization:

"Not even death could take away the message I was meant to share."

Looking back 8 years later on that dark time she tells of how she made it through. She believes that she really had to figure out who she was and the people in her life that would love and stand by her no matter what. Since then Crystal has seen numerous small miracles that have led her to see that now is the time to share her story.

Crystal lives in Layton, Utah with her wife Jenny and two beautiful children. She sees her non- traditional family as a benefit child development, not a hindrance. Her kids have asked,

"Why do we go to a restaurant and people look at us differently?"

She believes that it is instances like this that can teach the greatest lessons in kindness, judgement and worth.

"Its okay to be Spiritual and Gay!"

She thought that because she had come out that God or religion could no longer be in any part of her life. While working through this she found that it was best to figure out what she valued. Honesty, kindness, looking out for each other, and family are all part of who she is to her core. She said, "I didn't have to lose all of that to be okay." She has found that, despite what people believe, there is so much more to a person than their sexual orientation.

Crystal has been approached by many friends who have had a shift in their preconceived ideas of what a family in their community should look like. She says that people begin to realize that they are no different. Or as Jenny puts it,

"Changing hearts and changing minds."

When asked what she would say to Crystal of 2010, she responded, "Not only did it work out, and not only is it good, but it is so much better than I could have ever dreamed." Back in 2010 she played out every scenario and not even the best case seemed good enough. Now she says,

"I could have never comprehended how good it could be and to think that I almost walked away from it is heartbreaking."

She wants the LGBTQ youth of today to know that you can have a great life, and that it can be magical. It's all about trusting the process and gaining tools to see life as how it's intended to be: happy.