Encircle Heber
The Collin Russell Home
Son | Brother | Friend | Music Lover | Kind Heart
“I wanna live forever
Forever in your heart
And we’ll always be together
From the end to the start”
- Lyrics from Immortal by Marina and The Diamonds
The Encircle Heber home was named by Isaac and Emma Westwood in memory of Emma’s brother, Collin Russell.
The following is a beautiful tribute written by Collin’s sister, Emma Westwood.
Content Warning: The following material contains sensitive topics related to addiction and mental health challenges.
Collin Bentley Russell was born to Jonathan and Laurie Russell on October 10, 1995, in Murray, Utah. From the moment he was born, we knew he was something special. The youngest of four, he was a bright light in our family, and we all loved our baby brother Collin. He loved being with everyone and wanted everyone to be happy. He was a peacemaker and a great listener.
In his early years, Collin loved reading, drawing, and video games. As a teenager, he developed a deep passion for music. He was a talented singer and guitar player and loved attending concerts with his friends. Traveling was so exciting for him, and he always wanted to get out and see the world.
Collin had a very special relationship with his mom — he spent many late nights with her, sharing his ideas, joys, and fears. He and his mom did everything together, including working at The Gap.
Everyone who met Collin immediately loved him and felt his special spirit. He was a natural when it came to modeling, and working as a professional model brought him great joy. He loved sharing that passion with his sister Jenna. His brother, Dallin, was always a listening ear for him and supported him immensely, and his father loved him fiercely through thick and thin.
Collin was such a unique and funny kid. He was always making faces, talking in weird voices, drawing strange creatures, and even made up his own language with his junior high friends. He was always up for anything—he just wanted to be with the people he loved. He was incredibly generous—after starting his first job, he was so excited to be able to buy everyone birthday and Christmas gifts.
Collin knew he was gay from an early age, but he struggled alone for years, hoping and praying his attraction to men would go away. He was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and was very active in his scout troop and youth group. He was a straight-A student and always did his best to make responsible decisions for his future. It was so bright!
A few things led up to Collin coming out to me, his oldest sister, Emma. His older brother Dallin was serving a mission in Brazil and we were all excited about how well Dallin was doing. There was a lot of pressure and assumption that Collin would also serve a mission in a few years. Collin was 17 at the time and a junior in high school. When the church changed the mission age from 19 to 18, Collin panicked and kept telling us he couldn't go, but couldn’t verbalize why.
Collin and I had a really close relationship. I was eight years older and was like a second mom, although sometimes to his annoyance. We rarely fought as kids because of our age difference and our similar type-A, perfectionist personalities. One night I sat down with him in my parent’s basement to talk with him about how he was doing. We were discussing his stress over the mission age changing, but he still couldn’t say why he couldn’t serve a mission. While talking, I had this moment of clarity, and a very clear thought entered my mind - “ask him if he is gay.” I had never even considered that Collin was gay, but I know that God put that question in my mind to finally relieve Collin of the burden of keeping this secret. I asked him, “Is it because you are gay?” Collin took a deep breath and said, “Yes.” I could see the relief and the fear in his eyes as he was finally able to tell someone about the secret he had been keeping for so many years. I wish I could remember more of our conversation—but I do remember telling him everything would be okay and that I loved him. He wasn’t ready to come out to anyone else at the time, but I know that being able to tell me took a big weight off his shoulders.
A few weeks later, my parents found out—although it wasn’t exactly how Collin had hoped, and things were messy. They responded as many LDS parents do, and it was incredibly difficult for them. Collin did not come out publicly or start dating until after graduating high school. His last few years of high school were mostly happy and full of fun with a great group of friends.
It wasn’t until his friends all went their separate ways for college and Collin started dating that he really began to struggle. I believe all the years of hiding who he truly was finally caught up to him, and he suffered greatly from depression and anxiety. For the first time ever, he was failing his classes and started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. The next few years were really hard for Collin, and he began abusing medications meant to help with his anxiety, leading to him making some really bad decisions. He finally accepted the help we had been begging him to take for years and went to a rehabilitation facility in November 2017. He stayed for three months and was full of hope for his future when he was released. The next 10 months were still extremely challenging for him as he battled the need for a release from all the pain and anguish he held inside him.
I knew if Collin and my parents had an Encircle home to go to when he came out, our lives would be so different today.
That summer, I had a friend share an experience with me that changed me forever. She had a sister struggle for years with addiction and died of an overdose. She shared the things she wished she could change, the things she wished she could say to her sister now. She had no idea about my struggles with Collin, and when I told her, she offered me the most sincere and pure advice. She said, “Just love him. Don’t try to fix his problems. Don’t nag him. Just love him.” Over the next six months, I was able to let go of my disappointment and so many expectations I had for Collin and JUST LOVE HIM.
I celebrated his successes with him, and he spent quality time with our family. My son Elliott and daughter Ivy were a ray of hope in his life, and he loved them dearly, often getting down on the ground to play with them. He had a great job he enjoyed, and he was really trying to stay clean. He was in tune with the emotions of people around him and was always providing a listening ear.
The thing he wanted most was to find someone who loved and understood him, someone who would help him be a better person and someone he could do the same for. He wanted a partner to enjoy life with. On December 26, 2018, we lost him to a tragic accidental overdose. He was only 23 years old.
Our last Christmas with him was a sweet time that we will always remember. Our family was never able to fully love and accept Collin for the beautiful gay man that he was. Rather, our last years with him were filled with addiction and mental health challenges that completely overshadowed everything else. My husband and I were introduced to Encircle about six months after Collin died, and I knew immediately that we had to be involved. We toured the Salt Lake location a few months later and met Stephenie Larsen and Jacob Dunford.
We were so inspired by Encircle’s mission of No Sides, Only Love. It was a very bittersweet experience for me. I knew if Collin and my parents had an Encircle home to go to when he came out, our lives would be so different today. When we learned a home would be built in Heber, it felt meant-to-be. My husband, Isaac’s great, great, great-grandfather helped settle Heber, and my parents were about to start building a home in Midway. We decided to purchase the naming rights for the Encircle Heber home to honor Collin.
“Just love him.
Don’t try to fix his problems.
Don’t nag him.
Just love him.”
If you’re struggling with addiction or mental health issues, please know you are not alone. Reaching out for help is a big step, and we encourage you to seek support as soon as possible. Click here for our Crisis Hotlines.